THE GENDER MULTI-TOOL SHOP IS OPEN!
i got tired of other people selling my art without permission and put up my own version. hey, it only took 9 years and one DMCA to get my ass in gear :)
Today I assisted with a Hellboy LARP at an adventure summer camp called Trackers where several of my friends work, for a group of fifty or so 9-14 year olds. I played a fallen angel named Zechaniah, formerly Zachiel the Absolver, who these apprentices were summoning to ask for help lifting a curse they had accidentally gotten themselves into.
However, they soon discovered that I had fallen, and was no longer a force for good (or as good as angels get in the Hellboy universe), nor was I able to help them, since I had been stripped of my role as the Absolver. Instead, their summoning had freed me from imprisonment in heaven, where I had spent the past century in chains…and I was determined to seize this chance for freedom. Unfortunately for me, they had summoned me on sanctified ground, so I could not leave their summoning circle without being scorched by holy flames.
Thus, we struck a bargain - their lives, and the Key of Thoth which I had brought with me from my prison in heaven, in exchange for their aid in safely leaving the consecrated ground of the Columbarium.
The deal made, they escorted me in an unbroken circle to the gates, where I shook hands with one of their leaders ( @sunshineduk ), secretly casting a curse upon him which will, as the game progresses, turn his hand black and clawed, and swiftly begin to travel up his arm until it kills him (except it won’t, because plot will happen instead).
All this took place inside the San Francisco Columbarium, so we were surrounded by stained glass angels, hundreds of urns filled with the ashes of the dead, and other suitably creepy-holy-angel paraphernalia. It was great. I’m leaving some plot stuff out because this is already long enough, but you get the gist of it.
After each day, the apprentices (campers) fill out ‘bureau paperwork’ about the entities they encountered, and looking through those was hilarious.
One of the spaces asks, “What measures, if any, were taken to contain the entity?” Some of the funnier answers included: “None. We let him loose on San Francisco.” and “No. Noo.”
Another asks whether the entity had been harmful, and it was really funny to see that a lot of kids couldn’t make up their minds, because I hadn’t harmed them but was bad in general - many started to write yes, scribbled it out, wrote no, scribbled it out, and finally settled on yes.
Some of them also drew EXCELLENT accompanying pictures, such as these gems:
"he is mad"
I know you would, kid, I know you would.
The STRANGEST? Hmmm. Back in the day at AstroCamp when no one knew my name other than Books, there was a very intense rumor that my name was actually Milo. I was totally okay with this.
Truth is most rumors about me don’t circle back to me! The only ones that do are ones about who I may or may not be dating or sleeping with, none of which are that strange, given how affectionate I am with most of my friends. It’s an easy mistake to make. So while I’m sure there ARE strange rumors about me, I don’t know them!
I was tagged to answer eleven questions by cephalopodlovesong so I will do so! Whoosh! I am not gonna come up with new questions to pass along, though, because that is more work than my tired brain feels like doing tonight. Sorry, eleven un-selected friends who now lack questions to answer!
 given you are in your current financial state, you are told at your next doctor’s appointment that you have terminal cancer and have 1 month left to live. how do you spend the next four weeks?
Traveling the world visiting friends, feasting, and having a lot of ridiculous sex. Oh, and I’d spend an afternoon writing up a quick outline of books two and three of Weapon of Choice, for Quille’s sake if no one else.
 if you could get a functioning body modification based on an animal [e.g., horns, tail, wings, etc.], would you get anything? if so, what? keep in mind anything visible will be taken into account for employment.
WINGS. FUCKIN’ WINGS.
 what is something you were scared of as a child that no longer scares you?
The movie Aladdin.
 what is your least favorite household chore to do and why?
I really don’t like mopping up counters or sweeping? For some reason it feels like one of those futile tasks that will just be undone as soon as it’s done, in a way that doing dishes or laundry doesn’t.
 if you were in an RPG but DIDN’T get to be part of the main cast, what role would you want as an NPC? keep in mind your real-world skills.
I would totally provide some cryptic wisdom and dramatically dispense exposition, and probably get myself killed off to motivate the PCs.
 what are three things that have happened to you in the last week that have made you happy?
I got to see Guardians of the Galaxy with new and old friends (twice!), I made plans to go traveling with my best friend, and I got to spend this afternoon scaring children shitless while they tried to hunt me through a pitch-black room.
 is there anything you have intentionally kept secret from everyone you know? if so, why have you decided to keep this hidden?
Uh… nothing of my own? I know plenty of my friends’ secrets, though, and I keep them hidden because they ask me to! But I am a pretty open book, honestly. Ask me a thing and I’ll likely answer it to the best of my ability.
 do you find your thoughts focus more on the past or on the future?
 what food would you be most willing to eliminate from your regular diet [note: any dietary restrictions, allergies, or disliked foods do not apply]?
Hmmm. Probably chicken? I could live without chicken easier than any of the other major meat groups.
 what is, in your opinion, one unpopular opinion you harbor?
I think J.R.R. Tolkien is a mediocre writer, at best. He’s a brilliant worldbuilder and linguist, certainly, but his writing is tedious and overwrought.
 ignoring legal ramifications and any potential health hazards, would you try human flesh if you knew the meat had been collected humanely and safely?
Uh, duh? Especially well-prepared and presented.
1. THERE’S NOTHING WORTH SAYING THAT ISN’T WORTH SAYING EXTREMELY LOUDLY
2. THERE’S NOTHING WORTH YELLING THAT ISN’T WORTH YELLING IN UNISON WITH FOUR OTHER PEOPLE
3. THERE’S NOWHERE WORTH GOING THAT ISN’T WORTH GOING TO WITH ALL YOUR FRIENDS
4. THERE’S NOTHING WORTH EATING THAT YOU CAN’T EAT AT 3 IN THE MORNING
5. PEOPLE SMELL. DEAL WITH IT
6. MOUNTAIN DEW IS FOR DRINKING
7. QUADS ARE FOR DRINKING
8. YOU WILL LEARN THE THEME SONG
9. YOU WILL SING THE THEME SONG
perfect in every single way and oh god every time i see something about hall i get all teary-eyed now
these are such IMPORTANT rules
i need to not forget them ever
Bots often take over the social media accounts of dead people for all kinds of nefarious purposes—stealing credit card numbers, schilling some product, whatever.
Therefore, the people who write these bots are reanimating the digital remains of the deceased, though no spark of the original person remains
Therefore, the people who write these bots are necromancers
The honorable Beifong family tree
Hey, everyone! This is the creator of Little Girls Are Better At Designing Superheroes Than You, here with a post I thought you all might like. Writer Ted Anderson and I have made a pitch for a superhero comic!
The comic is about nine-year-old Lucia Marquez-Miller, who loves engineering, and uses her telekinetic powers to build and take things apart with her mind. She calls this power her spark!
As Spark, the world’s youngest superhero, she’s a junior member of a superhero team while also trying to live a normal life. Can Lucia juggle her friends and family while also saving the world from supervillains?
We’re posting a 15-page standalone comic here on tumblr to give readers an idea of what the book would be like.
Click “read more” below to continue reading the comic!